Is COVID-19 stomping on your values?
With the COVID-19 Coronavirus pandemic in full flow, I would guess that uncertainty is affecting us all. We can’t know who will be infected by the virus, how serious their symptoms will be, how our work will have to adapt, nor how our lives as a whole will be disrupted. What the health and science experts seem to agree on is that we will all be affected in one way or another.
It’s not surprising therefore that anxiety is in the air.
Some of us accept change as a natural part of life, others are more cautious and prefer the predictability of the status quo. There is undoubtedly a difference between the changes we choose and those that are imposed from outside, and in the months ahead, we’ll be dealing with both.
How we view the disruptions that are already making themselves felt is largely a matter of mindset. So how can we snatch back gentle control from a situation that makes us feel powerless?
The first step on this re-empowering path is awareness.
In this article I’m going to offer you a way of understanding why you might be responding to the situation as you are by showing how your values are triggered by the Coronavirus situation.
Do you know what you prize most highly?
The answer to this question will point towards important values.
For example, one of my highest values is autonomy. By this I mean the freedom and ability to choose how I live and work, how I design the shape and texture of my life, how I build relationships and make business decisions to express this and other key values too.
So if this ability to choose how I organize my day and my interaction with others is compromised, it’s not surprising my levels on anxiety, security and happiness will feel the impact.
If the world around me changes and my sense of autonomy is threatened, I’m going to feel uncomfortable; I might also feel angry and powerless. This is what happens when your values are triggered.
Knowing this automatically gives back some degree of control.
This new awareness means I now have a choice: how can I express this value while also bearing in mind the greater good of society? We don’t live in a vacuum – the virus has reinforced that very clearly – but there will be ways of living your values within the new context.
How to express important values in the new context?
In my own career coaching context, I took the decision last week to move all my local clients to video coaching. This decision tugged me in various directions because some clients really value being in the same room for their sessions, and I worried that they wouldn’t feel the impact of our work together in the same way.
I know that I also owe my clients a duty of care, so there was a potential conflict here. In this case I felt I had to give duty of care precedence. In fact this also honoured the value of autonomy because I was able to make what I felt was the best choice for my clients and myself. After all, I can’t coach anyone if I’m laid up with Covid-19.
At the same time this decision fulfilled another value: service.
Being able to see which values were in play really helped me to make a clear decision that aligned with these values.
When you have clarity about your values and can use them to inform decisions you make, the sense of confusion and potential powerlessness recedes.
Which other values are impacted here?
I’ve already mentioned two of my values: autonomy and service (part of a larger value of love). But there are others, which I’m in the habit of using regularly to create a fulfilling life. It’s important to ensure each of our highest values has space for expression, and in times of disruption this is perhaps even more important.
So here are some ways I’m consciously giving each of my highest 6 values space to breathe and find expression:
AUTONOMY: as a business owner and sole trader, I have already created a work life that allows great activation of this value on a daily basis. Being able to make a free choice is imperative – even when there are external constraints. So in limiting social contact, I can still be autonomous in what kind of online activity I can offer my clients:
· I offer Skype, Zoom or telephone coaching on all my career services
· I have a range of free resources and a regular newsletter which are free to access via my website
· I am offering a special price on my online programme to manage important transitions.
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This offers the opportunity to pause. To let go of yesterday, ground yourself in today, and calmly walk
forwards into tomorrow. When we’re in a period of turbulence, this quiet awareness is empowering.
· On a more personal level, I’m paying particular attention to how I use my energy every day – following its natural flow is empowering and more productive in times of disruption. If I need to ‘float’ for a bit, that’s fine. More productive energy will return.
CREATIVITY: one of the ways I find myself in flow in my business is when I’m working on a social media or workbook design. Another is when I’m brainstorming solutions to a problem. Both require creativity and I love using this part of my intelligence. I’m also learning to tap into my intuition – a great way-finder that many of us underuse.
To express my creativity at this time, I’m:
· Stepping back and giving space for my intuition to take the lead
· Focusing on completing an online course I’m creating for anyone facing a completely new chapter in their lives. This uncertain environment gives a very ‘live’ energy to the issues we encounter when building a new life. If you’d like to join the waiting list to hear news of its launch, you can sign up here: The Joy of a Blank Canvas
· Brainstorming and listening to the pains potential clients are experiencing right now and thinking how I can offer support. You can see my current career services using this link.
· More personally, I’m doodling designs and colouring them in – it’s soothing and taps into pure creativity to see where the pen goes on the page
VITALITY: this value is all about feeling alive in my life.
It’s also about keeping well both physically and mentally and appreciating what I have. So you can see it’s about outlook on life, self-care, and in my case, sharing that optimism and aliveness through my work and in my relationships.
The trigger here is clear enough to see – will I stay well? If I’m infected, how serious will it be? And how about my children, grandchildren and close friends?
I’m sure you can also see the connection with autonomy, so here’s what I’m choosing to do to honour this value:
· Follow the advice, limit social contact, but stay connected online
· Get out for at least one walk each day – I’m still free to do this (keeping a safe distance of course) but I know in some countries this is more of a challenge. So explore indoors exercise – yoga, stretching, dancing to your favourite music – whatever gets the blood flowing and boosts your happiness. I’ve just introduced a dance break into my day - this boosts everything!
· Getting enough sleep – this may be easier said than done in times of uncertainty, but creating a good sleep routine including an evening wind-down, no screens in the bedroom, room at the right temperature will all help
· Paying even more attention than usual to what brings me joy: pictures from my family, funny stories, colours, the sun, a surprise message. I love capturing some of these in my Joy posts on Instagram – if you’d like to follow along, join me here.
At the same time, keeping a gratitude journal of creating a daily practice will definitely build resilience. Before I go to sleep each night I run through everything that made my day - guaranteed to send me to sleep with a smile on my face!
If you have more time on your hands right now, how about taking the time to build up your mental and physical wellbeing?
I’ve brought together my favourite habits and practices in this free e-guide: The Thrive List
Please feel free to download it and build your own vitality-boosting practices.
Download your free copy of
The Thrive List
LOVE: yes, this is a big one! I’ve already mentioned that this value drives the work I do – I want to help people to build a fulfilling life on their own terms. I express this value every day, whether writing an article like this one, posting on social media, creating new free resources, developing career services that will empower my clients.
And of course love is also for my family and friends. I love seeing my family grow, and being a grandmother is a joy! Eating out with friends, exploring new places, going to concerts or the theatre – all these are shared activities. But sadly, not in person for now.
So what am I doing to express love?
· Skyping for all I’m worth – family, friends and clients. Speaking every day to someone, sharing positive vibes
· Spreading ideas for managing these challenging times – through articles and social media posts, and by actively contributing to online groups
· Offering a special price on some services, plus payment plans with no additional cost, in other words, flexibility! Just ask for what you need if you’d like to work with me on building a positive future
· Continuing to coach via Zoom – my career change clients also appreciate the interaction and opportunity to think about what they want for the future
· Staying in touch with my neighbours – we’re in this together and community will be the winner
AUTHENTICITY: discovering who I really am and being that person! That’s why uncovering our highest values is at the heart of all my coaching work. When we know what matters most to us, we’re empowered to see the world differently, to be ourselves and create the life that fits the real us.
I found this out the hard way – and over several decades stumbling from one thing to another. When I unlocked my values and started acting from them, boy did everything change. Suddenly making what other people called ‘brave’ choices became easier and I was able to create a life that expresses who I really am.
Another way to act from you true self is to follow Brené Brown’s advice in her manifesto for Wholehearted Living:
Cultivate Authenticity:
Let go of what people think
I’d say Authenticity is possibly the only value that hasn’t been clearly triggered at this turbulent time. Interesting. I now trust myself to find the answers, and that I will be able to create a future. It seems that once this habit of ‘being myself’ became established, it also turned out to be my new way of living. I’d say it underpins all the other values because this is my truth.
So my way of expressing this value is to:
· Explore what it means to me right here and now
· Develop ways of being and doing in the world that express it (sharing the dance video being a lighthearted case in point. Before, I would have worried about judgment, now i just hope it might make someone smile :)
· Throw away ‘should’ – because these things probably stem from someone else’s values
You can watch a free video that I made for the Communicate YOU online summit about how values are at the heart of being yourself and creating a work life that lets you express that. I’ve posted it on the ABOUT page of my website – just scroll down to Events.
If you’d like to work on your personal values and how to use them to make strong choices for your future, take a look at My Values Discovery Service here
Values are also part of the Quickstep Career Change Programme and the soon to be launched life-redesign programme The Joy of a Blank Canvas. I know how powerful they are.
Your turn!
How can you use your values to regain aligned control?
Follow these three steps:
1. Identify you top 5-6 values. If you need some help with this, you can read more about values here or book into my Values Discovery service here
2. Ask: how is each value being impacted by the current situation? Examine when and where you are feeling triggered as this will hint at which value is being impacted
3. Ask: how can I still express this value (even in a small way) to regain alignment and agency?
By taking values-driven actions, you will be doing your best at this challenging time. You’ll feel less buffeted by events and experience greater calm and more control.
I’d love to know what you think – which values do you feel are being most impacted by this current uncertainty? What are you doing to counter this? Please let me know in the comments.
Stay safe, stay linked, stay true to YOU.