What’s really stopping you from creating a new career?
It’s amazing how we can justify staying exactly where we are – even when our work is draining us dry or driving us crazy. However frustrating or exhausting work can be, we can be our own worst enemy, ready with a string of excuses that prove we can’t make the change we’re secretly yearning for.
Some are valid reasons – the need to earn money, to be within easy reach of home, to use the strengths and expertise we possess. But there are also beliefs or excuses we use to prevent a really serious exploration of our options. In effect we can shoot ourselves in the foot even before alternatives are shown the light of day.
If your career no longer fulfills you - or worse, if it’s destroying your wellbeing, confidence, purpose or is in serious conflict with values you hold dear - you can’t afford to accept those excuses that are holding you back from the rewards you deserve.
Now is the time to come clean and be completely honest with yourself. What’s really keeping you stuck in a job you hate?
Complete honesty
When I speak to people who are ready to explore a career change, they’ve usually been unhappy for months, sometimes years. They’ve reached a tipping point and ask for help to understand what’s really holding them back and what other realistic options they have.
Among the most common doubts that come up and that have held them in thrall for far too long are thoughts like these:
· I’m too old to change direction now
· Have I still got it?
· Do I deserve more fulfillment at work - or is that unrealistic?
· Is it selfish to want more?
· Will my family suffer?
· Am I still employable?
· Do I have the energy to start over?
· Will my knowledge and experience be relevant anywhere else?
Do these sound familiar?
Even one of these doubts can keep any of us hooked and unable to act for long stretches of uncomfortable time. But something strange happens when these doubts are exposed the cool light of day – alternative ways of seeing that statement start to emerge.
One of the ways I work with my career change clients is to create the right conditions in which they can see new possibilities. And this involves seeing such statements for what they are:
just thoughts or beliefs – not truths
And each one can be challenged or reframed.
Reframing those doubts
So how can you gain a fresh perspective? Let’s take a look at each potential paralyzing thought or belief.
1. I’m too old to change direction now
Who says you’re too old?
A linear career is no longer a standard model and many people change direction at least once in their lifetime of work. I retrained as a career consultant in my 50s and made a successful career in career guidance, creating and managing a university career service. At the end of that decade I also took an unforeseen opportunity to curate the programme for an international literary festival and loved that experience, only returning to my career guidance career when I relocated to the UK.
While there are many fears about experiencing age discrimination, they are rarely an obstacle for people who understand why their new direction is a perfect choice for them. They understand that they can connect with potential employers through their shared values, purpose and enthusiasm.
So my suggested reframe here is:
My experience and clarity of purpose will allow me to succeed in a well- chosen new career - whatever my age.
2. Have I still got it?
Career success requires the application of skills, the development of expertise and a fair dose of determination. It demands energy and commitment. When those things dry up, it’s easy to imagine you will never find the fire and enthusiasm for anything else.
But the secret is in finding what would really set that fire burning again. With clarity and renewed focus, you’ll also release surprising energy and excitement.
When you’re in a job that no longer burns bright for you, your stocks of energy slowly dwindle. But when you uncover a direction that aligns with your values and purpose and uses your experience and strengths in new ways, your creative energy knows no bounds.
My reframe here is:
What new opportunity will release my energy and reignite my ambition and potential?
3. Do I deserve more fulfillment at work - or is that unrealistic?
Quick answers – yes you are and no it isn’t!
We have one go at living our lives, so what better measure of time well spent could there be than the idea of fulfillment? This means growing, reaching your potential and making the most of your talents. We all deserve the chance to define our measures of success and create a life that fulfills us and, with any luck, has a positive impact on people around us.
Throw away that outmoded idea that work is not intended to be enjoyable or satisfying. I think the pandemic has brought into much sharper focus the fragility of life and the importance of creating work that fulfills us and makes a difference to the world. Fulfillment and flourishing are definitely on the career agenda these days.
Reframe: a life well lived is something we all deserve
4. Is it selfish to want more and will my family suffer?
This comes up again and again – that creeping sense that going after a more fulfilling career is selfish and that others will invariably suffer. Nothing could be further from the truth!
Trying flipping the question and ask what your family want for you. The chances are they want to see you happy and fulfilled, doing work that inspires you, that makes you happy and enriches the people you serve.
Another flip is to ask in what ways your family might already be ‘suffering’ when they see you drag your weary self to a job that you’ve outgrown and have no energy for family fun and adventure.
Reframe: Consider who else will benefit when you give yourself permission to go after more.
5. Am I still employable - will my knowledge and experience be relevant anywhere else?
If you have developed and honed workplace skills, grown your potential, built experience and achieved all manner of successes in your career, you will definitely remain employable. Don’t be afraid that your skills are outdated or stale just because you’ve fallen out of love with how you apply them.
What you might need to do is to reignite a more current sense of:
· what lights you up in your professional life
· whose life you want to impact through your work
· your successes and achievements
Uncovering your WHY in terms of shared values, purpose and valuable transferable skills will allow you to connect with future employers in new and credible ways.
Reframe: Connect your why authentically to theirs and you are always employable
6. Can I really start over, and at the bottom of the ladder again?
When you know why a new direction is a perfect fit for your strengths, purpose, passions and values, you will generate enormous resources of energy and problem solving power to bring to this transition. So gaining that clarity is the magic you need to release in order that you can start over with conviction and self- belief.
It’s also very unlikely that you will be starting at the very bottom of the ladder! With your wealth of experience and transferable skills, together with your newfound confidence and purpose, you will often be able to either quickly rise through the ranks or enter at an advanced level than you think.
When I retrained in career guidance in my 50s, my first role was founding manager of a university career service. My previous experience and successes were regarded as valuable assets, not limiting liabilities.
Reframe: Starting over in the perfect role will generate energy and success
Exchange fear for clarity and courage
When you are able to step outside these limiting beliefs and see those fear-based thoughts for what they really are, you can choose another, more positive way of reassessing the situation. You are then setting yourself up for fulfillment and success.
Always try to adopt a new perspective and make your own reframes – and always try to bring into focus who else will benefit from daring to take the first step towards a fulfilling future.
· Get those limiting thoughts out in the open and see them for what they are
· Flip or reframe them to open up possibiltiies
· What would your best self or your best friend advise?
· Who will benefit from this change – and who are you to deny them?
· Review and own your successes, achievements and strengths
As Brené Brown says in ‘Dare to Lead’:
‘When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending.’
And if you need a little help getting started, just get in touch – perhaps a free 30-minute career chat will be just what you need to release the next exciting and fulfilling chapter of your story.