Achieving work you love – for once, it really IS all about you

‘The confused mind always says no.’

A new year always brings me a flurry of messages from potential clients eager to ride the New Year wave and start creating a truly fulfilling work life. Almost everyone I speak to shares one basic problem – they are stuck and don’t know how to get unstuck!

In many cases they have chased their career dissatisfaction round in circles trying to identify more rewarding options with yet another quiz, self-help article or career change case study. This can last for months – even years – during which they have talked themselves in and out of making changes again and yet again.

They might tell themselves things like:

‘ My current job is safe and reliable, surely that’s enough.’

‘ I’ve left it too late, I’m too old to change now.’

‘ This is just not the right time, I’ll think about again after the pandemic.’

‘ I have no idea what else I can do.’

‘ Everyone else is doing so well, why can’t I be happy with what I have?’

Some of these ear-worms may sound familiar?

By the time they finally contact me, some are quite exasperated with themselves!

But none of this surprises me because I’ve been in their shoes, feeling unfulfilled, stuck and miserable at different times in my own career. However,  I do have one clear advantage – I have reinvented my career (three times) and know it IS possible. That cuts out a lot of noise and opens up possibilities.

Clarity open doors

And what makes change totally possible, is clarity about WHY this change is necessary. What exactly is missing or off-kilter in your current career? When you can answer this question clearly and honestly you will have identified important values, strengths or passions that are taking a pounding, or not getting a look-in at all. And this is gold dust.

This is why I say creating a fulfilling work life really IS about you. It’s about knowing why you work, what you want from your work, what will give you a sense of purpose and what rewards you really value.

This is actually an easy first step and if you’re ready to take it now, you can download my free guide to ‘Know Your Own Success Criteria’ by signing up here.

Spending some time thinking about the bigger picture of work and whether for you flexibility trumps salary, or purpose matters more than status, will help you to become clearer about what’s missing in your current work. It will point to important values and motivators and clear away some of the confusion.

Confusion keeps you stuck

So if you’ve now gained some clarity on what you need your work to do for you, you may still feel confused about what your alternatives are, how you shift careers, and (worst of all) whether this new direction will actually bring you the fulfillment you’re seeking.

In amongst these swirling questions are the twin demons of comparison and fear.

The Comparison Con: we may all have felt a surge of sudden emotion when someone we know posts about a brilliant success they’ve had. They’re doing so much better than we are! 

This is dangerous territory and requires a positive challenge. It’s natural to compare ourselves with our peers, but don’t take that initial feeling of not measuring up too seriously. Challenge its confusing voice by understanding what exactly is driving this feeling of not doing well enough. (I’ve written more about comparison in this article.)

This confusion may be driven by:

1. Assumptions about what success is

2. Inherited values or goals that really are not our own

1. When we are clear about what success means to us – what it looks like on daily basis – we can separate ourselves from different views of success. We’ll feel secure that we are heading in the right direction for us, with no need to compare ourselves with anyone else. 

We have attained priceless clarity and know WHY our path is right for us.

As social researcher Brené Brown says, 

‘Comparison is the crush of conformity from one side and competition from the other – it’s trying simultaneously to fit in and stand out. Comparison says, Be like everyone else, but better.’

Fortunately, we have a choice about what we do the moment after we find ourselves unconsciously comparing ourselves to others. Clarity helps us to know that, and to choose according to our own values and goals.

2. Our parents, peers, colleagues, teachers of other influential figures in our lives all have their own values and goals. They may not have thought about them much or they might live them every day. But their values are not necessarily yours. And their goals are definitely not yours either. 

When you have clarity about your own values and the other criteria that will make you say ‘yes, this is right for me’, you are able to claim your future.

What are you really afraid of?

But the other big obstacle that holds us back is the quite understandable fear that it will all go horribly wrong. After all, we are talking about the unknown here. Undefined change is just that – out of focus and different. 

Without clarity about those fears, we can’t counter them with rational reassurances. So be honest with yourself:

What are you really afraid of?

When you have those fears out in the open, you’ll have greater power to deal with them, and manage the risks with your eyes wide open. Unspoken fears have immense power to keep you right where you are – perhaps forever. Be brave and call them out.

Your own roadmap

Confusion can keep us stuck in a career that leaves us frustrated or exhausted. When we know our values, our strengths, our purpose, our passions, then we can start to blow that confusion away and create our own roadmap towards a more rewarding working life.

So instead of saying no to future possibilities because we’re confused and perhaps afraid, try one step towards clarity and answer the question:

 ‘What do you want from your working life?’

By clearing space for clarity, you’re giving yourself a chance to create something new and (imagine!) much, much better.

If you’d like to book a free 30-minute career chat to uncover your next steps, just contact me using the button below.

Or follows these links if you’d like to find out more about my Career Change Coaching Programme or its self-study edition. Not surprisingly, the first and essential foundational stage is called CLARITY!