A career in 6 choices – how asking WHY reveals the true plot (Part 1)

Perspective is a wonderful thing.

When I look back on my three different careers, it makes a very different story than when I was living through it. At the time, the plot line was often messy, sometimes out of focus and with no clear guarantee that it would turn out fine.

With the benefit of hindsight I can see what each shift allowed me to achieve and, in each case, what was really driving the desire for change. 

That subtext – some call it our WHY – allows me now to make sense of the whole story. That insight can also suggest possibilities for the next chapter and I’ve written about Joining the Dots in Your Career Transitions here.

I’m using my own career story to illustrate this article, but I’d love to know whether you’d share similar chapter headings – and where we diverge. 

Rather than start my career story at the beginning, I’m beginning with an event that jolted me awake. I wonder what your wake up event would be? 

Chapter 1 ~ The Baby

When a baby is born, the focus of your whole life shifts, inside and out. 

Suddenly having no time to even have a shower becomes normal. ‘Sleep when he sleeps’ becomes your new mantra. It’s a matter of survival – and not just your own!

But inside, there are similar seismic shifts taking place. You might feel a swirl as the world around you takes on a new order. Perhaps you feel a little submerged while this tectonic activity is rumbling away out of sight. I certainly did. But never doubt that significant shifts are taking place.

And when you re-surface – when he starts to sleep through the night perhaps – do you even recognize your new self? What has this new life to do with the successful career woman, willing to take on that extra project, long hours of travel and author of late night reports?

What indeed!

This is the time to work out what your new priorities really are. It’s OK to feel differently about your career trajectory now. It’s OK to feel the same too. Try not to make assumptions about what you should do but lock into your values and what they’re telling you. It’s a great time to make conscious choice.

A common acknowledgment of your new reality as a parent is to go part-time in your previous role. Many people do this, and I did it myself, reducing a full teaching load to half a week instead.  And that can work for a while – or for many years. It depends what your priorities are. At that time, mine was flexibility – I wanted to spend more time with my new baby, still earn some decent money (mortgage to pay after all), but be able to balance the two somehow.

So let’s move on to what was really going on here. Let’s look at the subtext.

Subtext: flexibility, balance, re-configuring, deep-seated change

Chapter 2 ~ The New Business

After a couple of years working part-time, I started to face another reality: I wasn’t enjoying teaching English to teenagers any more. 

OK. 

Instinctively, I took stock of what I was enjoying learning about and that was what actually happens when women try to return to work after a career break. This was back in the 1980s and there was very little on offer for women in my situation, but when I did attend a day course one weekend for just this market I knew immediately that this was my new thing. It had personal significance for me and I could take my teaching skills and use them in a new way.

The upshot was a new self-employed me. I was designing, marketing and running course for women returning to paid employment after a career break. Wow, this was exciting. I was venturing out into new territory and I loved the pioneering adventure of it. This was my first experience as an entrepreneur!

The fact that I was in the driving seat, pacing my new working life to suit the different demands and priorities of my life was thrilling. So while flexibility was still important (and being fulfilled too – hooray), a new player was emerging: autonomy.

Yet life is never straight forward and at the same time, another adventure was calling. For the next 22 years I would be living and working in Dubai. Was this farewell to being my own boss?

Chapter 2 subtext: autonomy, creativity, entrepreneurship, meaningful impact

Chapter 3 – The New (overseas) Career

Transplanting a family from one country to another was a huge and exciting enterprise. While my husband was settling into his new role, I was absorbed with settling our growing family (two children now) into a new routine. There were many adjustments to make and I was happy to let my own career take a back seat for now. I’ve written about the many shifts an expat faces in this blog.

After a few months though, I found the space to think about widening my own horizons and started to reflect seriously on what I needed to thrive. I didn’t want to go back to teaching in schools and I wasn’t sure I had the right connections to develop the women returners’ option in this new context, so I combined the two – teaching adults. I love reading, my first degree was English Literature and I started offering A-level English courses for women who were commonly know in expat lingo as ‘trailing spouses’ (I know, horrible).

This was a brilliant choice – I loved sharing the joy of understanding a writer’s craft while also witnessing women gain confidence and self-belief as they found themselves sailing through the syllabus and emerging with an A-level that could open doors for them.

So yes, flexibility received a big tick. So did autonomy, but another box was emerging – what my work was enabling for my clients. 

This chapter lasted for several years because everything lined up perfectly.

Subtext: flexibility, autonomy, enabling personal and professional development

I’ll be publishing the next 3 Chapters in the next blog – stay tuned!

And do let me know in the comments what strikes a chord and what you own chapter headings would be.

You can request my free workbook: Joining the Dots in Your Career Transition here