Reinventing your career after divorce: from surviving to thriving

If you’ve been through a divorce, it’s likely that your career was affected in some way. This might have involved moving to a new location, a shift to increased hours or an urgent job search to earn more money. Some people find themselves suddenly dusting off their CV or actually retiring. But whatever the changes it brings, it’s possible to reinvent your professional identity and how you live and work after divorce, and discover new opportunities never dreamt of before the split.

In my own case, separation and divorce resulted in an international move, a change of career direction, and a transformation in outlook. For many, a divorce will lead to multiple losses and gains, often over quite a lengthy period of time. It can also throw up unforeseen opportunities and surprising changes in fortune. 

So how can we navigate this unpredictable period? 

It’s a time to reset and really understand what matters most to you at this time in your life. Building a working life that reflects what you value and offers you the right amount of challenge will be a true positive to emerge from what can be a very difficult time.

Sometimes, it’s enough to know that others have experienced divorce and have built a productive and rewarding new career because of it. That’s why I’m sharing my own story here. 

Lessons from my career reinvention story

Chapter 1

As my long marriage came to an end, I was living in Dubai and enjoying what I would call my dream job as Head of Programming for the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature. This was the culmination of the literary strand of my varied career and gave me the opportunity to meet international authors, develop engaging events for the annual festival and work within an inspiring team.

I was unable to stay in this exact role for practical and financial reasons and moved back to the UK to start a new life. As part of the transition I was able to work as a literary consultant with the festival for another year, travelling back and forth to Dubai several times a year. Ultimately this wasn’t sustainable and I had to face the fact that I needed a whole new career.

It was quite a simple decision to return to my professional experience in careers guidance and explore work at my local university. At this point I was 57 and wasn’t sure that my careers experience in Dubai would be seen as relevant to the UK market, and doubted whether my age would work in my favour. 

I’m happy to report that both proved to be false assumptions!

I’d actually set up and headed the careers service for a UK university in Dubai, so had strong experience in tertiary education and careers provision for this very diverse cohort. These were ultimately seen as positive advantages.

After several applications and interviews at the university I was offered two jobs, one of which I accepted and stayed in for four years.

Lesson number one: trust great experience, wherever it’s gained. If the knowledge, experience and expertise acquired is presented in line with organizational objectives, its value will be readily appreciated. When you believe in the quality of your experience and skills, it will be easier for others to do the same.

Lesson number two: age is far less important than experience, enthusiasm, vision and a relevant record of success. If I’d talked myself out of applying because of my age, or let it negatively colour my approach to the opportunity, things would have been very different. I was able to present my experience and attitude positively – I believed I could do a great job, and thus it was possible for my future employers to believe it too.

Lesson number three: if you’re targeting a big employer that offers a range of potentially relevant opportunities, be patient. The right job may not come up immediately, but with each application you’ll get to know the organization and what it values – and of course, how closely those values and goals match your own. 

As I went through the process of four applications and sets of interviews, I was also starting to think like an insider. 

I understood the challenges they faced and could provide evidence that I had what they needed. I was also networking within the organization, and ultimately was offered one job while being advised to apply for another that would be advertised soon afterwards. I was becoming known by people inside the organization who appreciated my experience.

Chapter 2

When I secured my new role at the university, I felt I had finally landed and could start to rebuild my life. 

But as we all know, change happens! Very soon after I began this role, the university entered a period of ‘Transformation,’ which had serious implications for my role. After a couple of years I realized I needed to reset my career in a direction that more closely aligned with my values and gave me a clearer sense of purpose. This is when my Freestyle Careers coaching practice was born.

I was able to create this business alongside a full-time role initially, only changing to part-time when I was sure I could make a success of the business. I had real clarity and belief about Freestyle Careers, but it still took courage to finally sever the ties of a reliable salary and launch fulltime into being my own boss and coaching career changers. 

Neither was it all plain sailing! 

Again, doubts frequently carried out open warfare in my head. But when I was able to anchor to the purpose of career change coaching, how well it suited my skills - and how much people needed this service, I was able to make the leap. I became my own boss and took my future into my own hands. (Yes, autonomy and authenticity are important values for me.)

Lesson number one: things change. If something at work no longer fits, take that seriously, especially if values and purpose are affected. Knowing WHY provides great clarity and motivation. Get clear and trust that you can rebuild – whatever your age.

Lesson number two: trust past experience of recreating your career. I could draw on my previous experience of changing from teaching to career guidance, and from lecturing to programming a literary festival. I knew I had succeeded before and trusted that I would do so again.

Lesson number three: take your time. Develop a realistic transition strategy, do your research and know WHY your new venture is right for you. This clarity will keep you going when all the natural fears and doubts are swirling in your head.

Lesson number four: self-directed change is possible – and so worthwhile. I know I’m now in the right place, doing work that matters, and, pandemics notwithstanding, have the ability to adjust my course whatever the weather. I trust my ability to change.

Gains and losses

When you live through a divorce, there will always be things you gain and other things you lose. It won’t always be easy to separate one from the other or to believe that the gains can grow and that you can flourish. When you’re in the midst of the turmoil, nothing seems clear.

One of the perceived losses is likely (at least initially) to be your sense of identity. Rebuilding yourself as the captain of your ship, steering your own course into unchartered waters can seem daunting. Yes, that’s probably an understatement! In time, it’s possible to see this as a new opportunity – both personally and professionally.

Doing the work to understand who you really are today is vital when it comes to rebuilding a better life. When I understood my values and how they needed to be expressed in how I lived and worked, I was able to design a truly aligned life.

If you’re ready to explore your own values and how to build a working life that suits you beautifully, read more about my Values Discovery service here. It’s based on my own experience of redesigning my life and starting again with clarity and self-belief.